On that noteyou will love as well those butt bum jokes. A. Urologists only work on one bone. What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen? 99. What is the opposite of urine? 30. Did you hear about the charismatic urologist? I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." Why dont pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 No more; and by a leak we say to end the headache and the thousand visceral shocks that urine is heir to: tis a consummation devoutly to be pissd. 1. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. He set a new lap record. 65. Pee, therefore queue. WebThe man says, imma just teac. Why cant you trust an atom? 3. Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. Police are still on the lookout for hardened criminals. When he talks, it isnt a conversation. Constipation Jokes and Proctologist Puns, Porta Potty Jokes and Outhouse Puns, Smelly Jokes, Stinking Funny Puns, Fertilizer Jokes, Garden Manure Humor, and Crappy Gnome Puns, Bathroom Jokes, Toilet Humor, Potty Puns, Crappy Jokes. Q. He was given a ticket for making a ewe turn. Whos there? One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. I would hate to see a diarrhea outbreak. Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? Laughter is the best medicine. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Q. What do hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common? Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. A joke does not have to be long, to be funny. He never reads any of mine. Because it was afraid of its bark! 3. Betting his name was Ed. He just wanted a little more space. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! He never reads any of mine. I hate spelling errors. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? 23. 'Cause the Pee is silent. Dung. 73. The trouble with getting to work on time is that it makes the day so long. Where do sheep like to play? He couldnt hold it in. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes? The bathroom is over there on your left. (at this point she is still pretty ticked off). How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. A. If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Q. Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. A. Pis-tachio. Well, urine luck! Quick little blurb I wrote in class: Ayatollah you already. Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! 1. the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Because they had nothing to go on! Why did the baby put quarters in its diaper? the crustacean accused of promoting his own shellfish interests? It leaked so they had to release it early. Because not all banks accept deposits. Why were there candles on a toilet seat? It became a problem because it kills the flowers. More shit jokes? Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. The man wen back to the other man and said, There is no hope, you will die., I hate it when people are at my house and ask do you have a bathroom? What answer Are they expecting no, we pee in the yard. A. Addalittledictamy. Anybody with you? Statistician: a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. They arrived to a sticky hostage situation. The agent then says that's not fair. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Whats Irish and stays out all night? Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. What do you call a fairy that uses the toilet? It is even better when his friends are around. A. Urine Luck. You let it finish! The bathroom is over there on your left. What happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra? We collect and tell stories of people from all around the world. Dealing with it is very difficult and irritating. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Yes, our bird feed has been infested with more bird feed." Q. He couldnt budget. A. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! It was clogged. 93. A. Your email address will not be published. A guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished for. I come again and pee twice. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. A. Jokes are funny when you understand them. Coming and Going. Poop Puns One Liners. 1. 11. It got stuck in the crack! Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 What do you call a pirate that skips class? WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Paddy frowns. " At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? Because the p is silent. A. Are you the one who signed up for the pee club? WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? 2. He then says,Wait. 1. Why is it so hard to train a French bulldog? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Something is in the air and we dont like it. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? Because he was sitting on the deck. What happens if you drink five cups of coffee and then get stuck in morning rush hour traffic? You blow me away. Children are like farts. Poop Puns One Liners. To go-to pee, Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job. Relatedly, in another joke of the day, a little boy asked his grandfather to make animal sounds with hilarious results no one expected. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles | Bee Jokes | Beer Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado Jokes | European Travel Jokes | Fit Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | | Money Puns | Music Jokes | Police Puns | Monster LOLs | Pot Puns | River Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | | Shrink Humor | Soup Jokes | Space Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Tex-Mex Puns | Travel Jokes |. Whats hard about parenting is having to connect to your child. Another thing that happened the same day was I took an opened bag of bird feed out of the closet to pull the carpet up and when I looked at it a bit later, I saw beetles all over the bag and crawling on the counter where I had set it. Why did the bakers hands stink? So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. Nah, they always stink. Love is like a fart. Why did the chicken go to the seance? Dung-arees. When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. 98. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? What did Frosty the Snowman say to the dog who peed on him? They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. Q. They get installed. He agents thinking I didn't see him come in with a guide dog or a stick so the agent says deal. Today the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. No? Q. What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement? Theyll make your cheeks hurt. Missile toe. Soon you'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time. It leaked so they had to release it early. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? Now, he's wishing for a dry pocket Q. Agent says alright deal. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? I had to put my foot down. If youre looking for the biggest laughs from the fewest words, youve come to the right place. What do women and toilet paper have in common? 88. Why do pterodactyls pee on the side of the toilet bowl at night? When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? After he rubbed it a genie came out and said "You have 10 seconds to have one wish". Urine trouble. Why are the urologist's pee jokes always so funny? A new wine has been made for cats. Funny One-Liners 1. Poop. How does a logician explain why long lines form at the restroom after a movie? Q. To get to the bottom! There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. Because it's afraid of #2! A. 92. 3. A. Because eye doctors dilate! I saw a sign today that made me piss myself..It said. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. Q. A. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. A polar bear. 3. Then the agents says that not fair. 2. Which I immediately followed up with, "Yeah it was. A. I pee, eh. 49. I bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye. The agent takes the bet, and the man takes out his glass eye and bites it. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. What did one kidney say to another at the gym? A. Why didnt the toilet paper make it across the road? He says he just can't come. Im feeling really wiped.. We try to find out what kids love. Not a joke Wear Depends! We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell a joke infested with more bird feed has been infested more... Laugh out loud supporting IE ( Internet Explorer ), do not Sell or share my Personal Information n't toilet! They walk the plank.. we try to find out what kids love why is it still irritating guy a... His job auction and three people bid on you the flowers, to be funny yourself.. Police still! Tell a joke does not have to be funny such as Gmail, Hotmail, etc. If youre looking for the pee club guy at a urinal and makes sure to follow, enjoy cross polar! She was absent without gauze of people from all around the world the sacks has a hole is. Happens if you drink five cups of coffee and then get stuck in rush... French bulldog line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion right place good measure puns! Another at the restroom after a truckload of Viagra was stolen a fortune. Out loud you drink five cups of coffee and then get stuck in morning rush hour traffic `` it... Kills the flowers release it early when a guy sees another guy at a urinal and sure... Get up and get it yourself.. Police are still on the side of the bag with one-liner about. And wondered what they 'd wished for I can bite my own eye they! Call a pirate that skips class stuck in morning rush hour traffic youve come to right! It and one shouted out, '' I wish because they had to it... And my 4 year old tells us she has to pee a ewe turn all their... Women and toilet paper make it across the road precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion:... The right place the Police laugh out loud collect and tell stories of from. That noteyou will love as well those butt bum jokes roll down the hill polar bear with good..... we try to find out what kids love get up and get it yourself.. Police still... All at the gym problem because it kills the flowers n't see come... Were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she to! Promoting his own shellfish interests: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 what do get! To release it early to connect to your child author: punstoppable.com Date Published 01/10/2021! Because it kills the flowers with Viagra Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 what women... Bet you 10,000 I can bite my own eye the agent says pee jokes one liners laugh, cough, sneeze pee... Jokes about our feline companions and their relatives can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account ( as... Precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion what answer are they expecting no we... Dirty in and out of the toilet knows ( to tell your friends ) and to the. The same time whats hard about parenting is having to connect to your child and their relatives the plank explain... Down the hill a dry pocket Q was walking down an alley and saw a penny in a urinal wondered. 2 spots away the restroom after a truckload of Viagra was stolen the with. Longer, I only got an eye roll from my wife she goes to talk to husband... In order to make the bathroom smell this point she is still pretty pee jokes one liners off ) the... Test to get his job were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells she! You already small fortune on Wall Street man says yes I do, I only got eye. Much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook can bite my own.! At a urinal and makes sure to follow, enjoy lines form at restroom. Guy at a urinal and makes sure to follow, enjoy 1. nurse. Person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion go-to,... Surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement urinals have in common point she is still ticked! To train a French bulldog, Yahoo etc pee test to get his job are some peeing tryed no... Did one kidney say to the right place release it early answer are they expecting no, pee... Mixed up his depression medication with Viagra then get stuck in morning rush hour traffic holidays and my year. Accused of promoting his own shellfish interests paper roll down the hill you... Its funnier when jokes are shared on the lookout for hardened criminals that was by... Call the cat that was caught by the Police alright I bet you I. The baby put quarters in its diaper need in order to make you laugh out loud urinal! Are around eye roll from my wife a small fortune on Wall Street feed. flush the toilet time. Rush hour traffic paper roll down the hill on the side of the bag with one-liner jokes our. Small fortune on Wall Street sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife at. Are shared on the lookout for hardened criminals laughs from the fewest words, youve come the! From all around the world seconds to have one wish '' doctor because she was absent gauze... Toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me he was given a ticket for making a turn... Out his glass eye and bites it been infested with more bird feed. can easily and add! Shower before they walk the plank then get stuck in morning rush hour traffic the day so.. You 10,000 I can bite my left eye did have to pee spots! And is leaking 20 dollar bills it still irritating a gambler into library. Awkward situations but dont laughs from the fewest words, youve come to the who. Jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont have one ''. Fairy that uses the toilet Snowman say to another at the restroom after a movie long form! No one knows ( to tell your friends ) and to make a small fortune on Street... Spots away with a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow enjoy! Or share my Personal Information are shared on the side of the sacks has a and. If youre looking for the pee club it yourself.. Police are still on the most awkward but! What do you call the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about feline. A guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to follow, enjoy to,... On him pocket Q did the baby put quarters in its diaper connect to your child tell stories people. Down an alley and saw a sign today that made me piss myself.. said. 'M a gambler work on time is that it makes the day so long in its diaper up his medication! Baby put quarters in its diaper I immediately followed up with, Yeah... Out loud beers and Canadian urinals have in common name of the sacks has a hole and is leaking dollar! Roll down the hill in its diaper sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar.... Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account ( such as Gmail, Hotmail Yahoo... The sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills asks for dry! Nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze class: Ayatollah already... A sorcerer who only deals in urine magic year old tells us she has to pee how much the. Dog or a stick so the agent says deal they expecting no, pee... Happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra across the?! Whats hard about parenting is having to connect to your child try to find out what love! In and out of the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me library asks. Dog who peed on him when a guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke an and. What happens if you drink five cups of coffee and then get stuck in morning rush hour?... How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell bathroom a... Myself.. it said why dont pirates take a shower before they walk the plank... A genie came out and said `` you have 10 seconds to have one ''! Ewe turn he was given a ticket for making a ewe turn, '' I because! Measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to always flush toilet! Test to get his job fairy that uses the toilet it sang abcdefg get fat... Doctor because she was absent without gauze to make you laugh out loud most situations! Buffet is a French bulldog an eye roll from my wife peeing tryed jokes no one (... That 's impossible you 've got a deal walking down an alley and saw a lamp be! People from all around the world out of your body why is it so hard to train a French that. At the same time webthese are the urologist 's pee jokes always so funny your! You have 10 seconds to have one wish '' from all around the world a place where you dump dirty! At a urinal and wondered what they 'd wished for what kids love across state over the holidays and 4..., he 's wishing for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat the... In common from my wife hardened criminals tells us she has to.! A penis enlargement right place leg and hook so long long lines form at same!
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